I'm struggling with both today! But I'm going to keep trying. I'm doing this as part of LK Ludwig's online journaling class, "Point and Shoot: Poetry and Dreams". Here is my attempt at haiku to accompany this photo I recently took at the Seattle Flower Conservatory:
Searching out the light
Dark secret center hidden-
Winter waits outside.
Another version:
Filtered sun through glass
Aloe quietly breathing-
Winter stalks outside.
3rd version:
Facing winter's light
Quiet breathing in the 'womb':
Dark secret hidden.
2/4/10
Haiku and photo transfers today...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I like version 3 best. Version two, because of the word quietly, has too many syllables in line two to have a perfect 5-7-5 structure. Version one is nice, but somehow lacks the punch of three.
ReplyDeleteThanks Meri!
ReplyDelete