2/4/10

Haiku and photo transfers today...

I'm struggling with both today! But I'm going to keep trying. I'm doing this as part of LK Ludwig's online journaling class, "Point and Shoot: Poetry and Dreams". Here is my attempt at haiku to accompany this photo I recently took at the Seattle Flower Conservatory:

Searching out the light
Dark secret center hidden-
Winter waits outside.

Another version:

Filtered sun through glass
Aloe quietly breathing-
Winter stalks outside.

3rd version:

Facing winter's light
Quiet breathing in the 'womb':
Dark secret hidden.


2 comments:

  1. I like version 3 best. Version two, because of the word quietly, has too many syllables in line two to have a perfect 5-7-5 structure. Version one is nice, but somehow lacks the punch of three.

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